Wisdom of Experience

Wisdom of experience . . . what a powerful thing to have and pass along.  But, passing it along is a very difficult and painful things to do sometimes.  And, for me, OMG, I keep running into the same issues regarding "my" wisdom; "my" advice. 

I have been through my share of heartaches and emotional relationships.  And, I have made many, many mistakes.  Mistakes that I have learned from.  Mistakes that I would like to protect those that I love from making.  Mistakes that have shaped me and helped me to grow.  But, mistakes, nonetheless, that I wish I hadn't had to make.

I have no biolgical children.  However, I have 4 "step-daughters" from a 13 year relationship I was in and I have 2 "step-daughers" and 2 "step-sons" from a relationship that I am now involved in.  It is very difficult being the non-mom Mother.  What I mean to say is that I am an adult in the household as is the kids' father and we try to make our homelife as family-oriented as we can.  Yet, when it comes right down to it, I AM NOT their mother; nor will I ever be.

And, there are many, many moments that they make sure that I remember this.  And, that, in and of itself, makes things very hard sometimes and very heartbreaking.

I pray that I can remain strong and set the right examples even though the heart is wounded.

23 Jun 2012 -- Ahhh, here I am writing again.  Well, that is a good thing because I have always loved writing.  I have moments of complete blockage and moments of compulsive writing.  Sometimes, as will probably be the case today, I just ramble on about everything that pops into my head.  And since my head has been going like crazy all night long, I guess it's time to just let it spill out . . . the good, the bad, the ugly, the confusing, the ramblings . . . all of it.

So, I'm thinking to myself about all of the things that have happened in my life.  What have I learned, what have I blown off, what could I have done differently, what I would never change for a million years . . . on and on and on.  Yep, totally in my head (which is never a really good thing) all night long.  And, while there are many things that I wish I did not have to go through in my life, there is only one thing that I wish I could have changed.  I would like to go back to July 2009 and change just one choice.  All of the other things in my life have made me who I am.  The good parts of me; the strong parts of me; the weak parts of me ... the whole of me.

Yep, the one thing about being in your head -- you always go through all the regrets you have; all the "I wish I'd known better and hand't done this" thoughts and it's quite crazy, because there is not a thing that you can do to change any of them, but still you go through it and go through it and analyze it (well, ok, maybe not everyone, but I know I do).  I break every episode down, re-evaluate, analyze, sum up the mistakes and the things I could have done differently or wished that I had done differently and then I run it over and over again and get angry or upset or sad or just down right ready to crawl into the fetal position and sob.  Crazy -- yes, I totally agree -- but, that's me.

My topics:  men, money, school, work, friends, men, money, men (ha, ha, ha there seems to be a theme going on here).  I recollect about what crazy things I did for men, how I allowed them to manipulate me, bring me down, change me, walk all over me, lie/cheat/steal from me physically and mentally and so on and so on and so on.

                         

I thought I would share this.  I found it on Facebook and it touched my heart --  http://sfglobe.com/?id=15639&src=fbfan_15639

How many times has this happened to you?  I know that it often happens to me when I am with my grandkids.  And, yes, it takes a lot to introduce yourself and your child but it is very well worthwhile.

I have recently been involved in a benefit organization and have learned a lot about the wonderful people with "differences" and how easy it is for them to fit in if you let them and how amazing they are!

Take some time and think about it and, maybe, make a change and introduce yourself to someone that perhaps you see on a regular basis and you have never talked with -- someone who is "singled out" due to whatever their difference may be.  Take a CHANCE!!!

Dukes Promo Movie

Live, learn, look to the future -- my ideas, thoughts, experiences, and discoveries.  I am looking forward to getting this blog up and running.  It will be a great way for me to just get it out -- that "it" being whatever is burning a path in my mind.


I used to write in a journal, but I tend to get too tired trying to get it all down, and typing is so much easier and faster for me.  So, here I am, blogging my life events.  Take from it what you want; don't judge; comment if you like; learn from my mistakes; but leave whatever you don't like, don't understand or don't want right here on these pages.


There will be times when I will share poems from friends or that I have created, as well as funnies, stories from others and so on.  There will be lots of pictures and, of course, lots and lots of words.